This week we went to a parenting workshop put on by your school because we're such amazing parents because you're out of control. There were only 5 parents there, McEwen's mama, Sadie's mama, three other mamas I didn't know, and Daddy. Daddy was the only Daddy there, poor thing. The parenting workshop was on the Love and Logic parenting technique. L and L is super popular in Boulder, I get emails about workshops all the time so I thought we should check it out, and more importantly there was also the promise of free refreshments. Free refreshments which I ended up not eating because I'm weight watchers-ing ala Jennifer Hudson and I didn't want to waste my precious 29 points on bagels and danishes. I had assumed that there would be healthier options at the workshop since we live in Boulder--maybe some yogurt parfaits, a smoothie or two, at least a breakfast burrito, but alas, with my main reason for attending the workshop gone, I thought it'd be good if I at least really go into this Love and Logic thing.
The instructor, a therapist who teaches L and L started talking about the philosophy behind L and L and we watched a little bit of the DVD, Love and Logic How to Raise Kids Who Make Responsible Decisions When Nobody is Watching. Whoa! After we watched a little bit we talked about it a little bit and parents are so funny because right away a lot of the parents were like, oh this won't work, I don't think this is good idea. I do x, y, and z and it works. Hilarious! Parents are so feisty! I kind of started feeling bad for the instructor because he was trying to cram 8, 2 hour sessions into a 1 1/2 hour workshop and the parents couldn't stop yapping away about how the program would never work. McEwen's mom was a trooper though, she was taking notes and wanted to learn some of the parenting phrases verbatim.
Anyhoo, we learned the "uh oh" time out song. We learned to pick an empathetic statement to say when your child does something you don't like. Some of these statements can be: "how sad", "oh no", "thanks for sharing", or my favorite, "I love you too much to argue." I kept thinking, "man, these statements would probably work well on Daddy too, yahtzee, two for one!" We also learned that it's important to never tell a child what you want them to do, but instead what you ARE going to do so they're not in charge.
We also learned that you have to use dramatic consequences so for example, one of the mamas was struggling with her daughter putting her shoes on before they headed out to playgroup. Did I just use the word struggling to describe that predicament? A struggle is having to walk 15 miles each way to fetch somewhat clean water for your daughter so she doesn't dehydrate and die of malaria. But anyway, the mama was having issues with her daughter not putting her shoes on. The instructor was like, well if she doesn't put her shoes on tell her she can't go to playgroup. The mama was like, but she would be DEVASTATED if she didn't go to playgroup. The instructor said, "she'd be devastated because she missed one playgroup?!" like the mama was crazy. I loved it! I'm telling you it was pure comedy, I'm glad I was sitting in the front row.
As the instructor described more examples it made me wonder if Lela Carmen had taken Love and Logic parenting classes or if she's just a naturally exemplary parent. Here are two examples from my youth that popped into my head as I was sitting in the class. One time Lela Carmen had told me I had to clean my room before I went to my friend Michelle's birthday party. I didn't want to clean my room so I put all the stuff under my bed or I didn't clean the room at all, I can't remember. Anyway, Lela Carmen came upstairs and saw that my room wasn't clean and she didn't allow me to go to Michelle's birthday party. I begged and pleaded but Lela Carmen did not budge, natural consequences! One point for Lela Carmen! The second example was when Lela Carmen was trying to leave from Dona Rebecca's house and I kept playing video games. She left me and I had to run up the street and chase her as she drove away. This is classic Love and Logic stuff, people!
As the instructor described more examples it made me wonder if Lela Carmen had taken Love and Logic parenting classes or if she's just a naturally exemplary parent. Here are two examples from my youth that popped into my head as I was sitting in the class. One time Lela Carmen had told me I had to clean my room before I went to my friend Michelle's birthday party. I didn't want to clean my room so I put all the stuff under my bed or I didn't clean the room at all, I can't remember. Anyway, Lela Carmen came upstairs and saw that my room wasn't clean and she didn't allow me to go to Michelle's birthday party. I begged and pleaded but Lela Carmen did not budge, natural consequences! One point for Lela Carmen! The second example was when Lela Carmen was trying to leave from Dona Rebecca's house and I kept playing video games. She left me and I had to run up the street and chase her as she drove away. This is classic Love and Logic stuff, people!
The time was almost up and people were still yapping away so the instructor wanted us to all go around and say one thing we were going to take away from the workshop and start implementing with our kiddos. Daddy's response was, "buy a lock!" Great, just great. In one of the modules on the DVDs they said you could lock your kid in their room if they wouldn't stay there for time out and since we don't have locks on our bedroom doors that was Daddy's take away from the day. Classic. I didn't agree with that and the instructor wanted us to agree on one thing to do together so I said that we'd set a timer for you to eat breakfast and that if you didn't eat it you'd have to go to school hungry. Haha...that's about a billion steps down from the buy a lock idea. Daddy begrudgingly agreed to that.
That night we came home and started using some of the techniques. I said "how sad" many times which seemed to irk you a bit and we implemented the "uh oh" song and it did actually work and you calmed down. I think Daddy still wants that lock though.
