The weirdest thing has been happening lately...sometimes, when I see a small tiny baby, I think to myself, "they're so cute! I want one!" Then I look over and see you, since you're always a few inches away from me, and say "oh wait, I have one...those things are crazy!"
Before I had you, I would always ask other mommies what labor was like and inevitably, "does it really hurt that bad?" Mommies gave me different answers but most told me, don't worry, you won't remember the pain...you won't even remember how hard it is to take care of a newborn. I didn't believe them, but now, 14 months later, it's true!
You'd think that your 21 hour labor would have deterred me from ever even getting near another baby creature of any species but I have completely forgotten the pain of labor. When did this happen? Now, I know that it was very painful. I remember being in the hospital, in early labor, and telling our doula Jen that I couldn't do it. I remember crying and screaming and saying please and thank you (what was up with me?) but the actual pain? Nada.
It's weird because when I got my nose pierced 8 years ago, the piercer, to calm me down, told me that the body can't remember physical pain so not to worry that I wouldn't remember it. The truth is that I still remember the pain of the needle going in. When it comes to labor pain though my mind goes blank. Evil, I tell you! Evil!
In light of this, and to deter me from thinking of wanting to have another bambino running around anytime soon, I have decided that I will devote a part of your blog to detail things I have already forgotten about labor, pregnancy, and taking care of you as a newborn. The things that were crazy and difficult and made me sob when Daddy went back to work and left me with you alone.
Here are the first two:
1. Vomit (you reminded me of this the other night when you threw up on me for the first time in months and months): You used to spit up and throw up all the time when you were a baby. I mean all the time. So much so that you had to wear a bib 24/7 and your spit ups were huge. You'd get my shirts drenched, and let me tell you spit up breastmilk isn't pretty.
2. Nursing pads: I had to wear these 24/7. I leaked like some crazy hormone given cow. If my shirts weren't drenched in your spit up, then they were drenched in my breastmilk. The pads are not comfy and sometimes they'd show through my nursing bras and I hope people didn't think I was wearing one of those chicken cutlet bust enhancer things. They were just nursing pads, I promise!
I'll add to this list as I remember things but know that I would do it all over again for you.
