Week 17: O's Daddy

This is one of my favorite pictures of your Daddy, O. You're very lucky to have such a good (and handsome!) Daddy.


This photo is from when we attended the Transcending Boundaries Conference in October. As you can see Daddy was listening intently. There was a Daddy from PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) talking about his daughter who is a lesbian and how he loved and accepted her. We'll love you too, O, whether you're queer or straight or anything in between. I hope we can create an environment for you where you feel comfortable being whoever you are. Love you!

-Mommie

Week 17: Sleepy Sleepy

O, your Daddy and I stayed up until almost 3am last night talking on the phone. Mommie has to get up at 7:30am for work. Because of that Mommie is very sleepy today and has a little bit of headache. Your Daddy kept offering to let me go to sleep but I didn't want to say bye to him because I miss him so much. I'm sorry if I kept you up last night with all the talking. I love you sweetie.

-Mommie
(17 weeks, 2 days)

Week 17: Happy Cumplesemana!

O is 17 weeks today!
Happy Birthday sweetie!

(17 weeks, 1 day)

Week 17: More Gender Thoughts

Another night of thinking about whether Mommie and I should find out the sex of the baby, and not much has changed from my original view that we shouldn't find out. From early on I didn't want to find out, and this view was much easier to deal with when my partner felt just as strongly as I did about not finding out. Now that Mommie is turning the corner and leaning more and more to wanting to find out, I find my self questioning my position on the issue all throughout the day, every day. I'd say I'm still heavily in favor of not finding out and having what might possibly be the best surprise one can have, although coming back from the bathroom to bed in the middle of the night and finding snoogle had replaced me in the brief period of time I left Mommie alone in bed was quite surprising as well! If I had to put my feelings in to numbers, I'd say I'm easily 75% or more in favor of being surprised and not finding out. Maybe my feelings will change in the future? Tune in for new results...

Pa

Week 16: Daddy Duties

Another day of classes over with, almost one day closer to being a daddy. Being a daddy, pa, papi, dad, anyway you say it it sounds equal parts exciting and nerve wrecking. ME partly responsible for raising a child in this crazy world? If I haven't figured things out myself after 28 years who am I to try to help a child figure things out? I guess it's reassuring that it is precisely this knowledge that is most important to teach to someone else, you never fully "get it" in life. Excited to be a role model more than anything about being a daddy. Don't view this as any added pressure, but rather an opportunity to lead by example, treating my partner and everyone else in this world with respect regardless of color, race, age, gender, sexual orientation, etc... Plus think I got it much easier than most prospective fathers, with a GREAT partner to share this responsibility with. Keep thinking about having baby fall asleep on my chest as I go to sleep, Kodak moment if there ever was one right? Still outlining for finals got next week, so gotta run. See you soon O, or Bella, love ya.

Pa

Week 16: Maternity Jeans!

I'm wearing these lovely things today:
I have one pair of jeans that are still sort of fitting but not really. These maternity jeans are so comfortable! I feel like my uterus can expand and breathe although it doesn't really breathe but if it did it could in these pants. They also look like regular non-maternity jeans except for the band which is being hidden by my shirt. I tried on some weird bib looking ones and they didn't make the cut. Thank you to whoever invented these!

-Mommie

Week 16: Finding out the sex of the baby

Right from the beginning Daddy and I agreed that we wanted to be surprised and not find out the sex of the baby. Lately though have been having second thoughts about this.

I don't know why I have been having second thoughts because it really doesn't matter to me if the baby is a boy or a girl. I hope to raise a baby in as much of a gender neutral space as possible so there will be no blue for boys or pink for girls thing but I still want to know. I'm surprised by how much this matters to me and I feel bad that I want to know so bad. I don't think it would have mattered to me if we just had called the baby, "baby" or by some gender neutral name from the start. But we gendered him right from the beginning because we knew this little being had to be O.

When I'm rubbing my belly or saying hi to him in the morning or feeling what I think is him kicking I see him as O. I see this little male face and this little male being and that's all I can think about. I don't see an Isabella. I feel like if Isabella is born I will be looking for my O which is crazy but I would be so happy to have Isa.

Daddy still doesn't want to find out, he wants to be surprised. We were shopping for baby clothes for a friend of mine at Salvation Army last week and a pregnant couple asked us if we knew what we were having. We said we didn't and weren't going to find out. The mommie of the couple hadn't found out but the daddy did and was keeping it a secret. I don't think that would work out for Daddy and I. I would have to tell him if I found out. We have to make this decision before the 5 month ultrasound on December 27th. I hope I know by then what I want. What's weird is that I was very sure of my decision to not get any genetic testing and feel very comfortable with that decision. This decision shouldn't be more difficult. Too many choices for this mommie to make.

Love you O or Isa!

-Mommie

Week 16: Long Distance Blues

I've been away from Mommie and O less than 30 hours and it feels like years! In school when I'm supposed to be listening, I can't help my mind from wandering to thoughts about what the future holds. O's first words, hopefully Dadda, lol, first steps, and can't forget those first soiled diapers. I hope O takes to breast feeding, I think there's something beautiful about a baby receiving nourishment from her/his mother. Speaking of nourishment, boy is Mommie big, can't wait to see what a few more months will do to her belly! Watch out world, here she comes, make way! I miss Mommie and O tons and having a hard time at school away from them. Not to mention I have to worry about snoogle ("Worm") moving in on my partner while I'm away! Finals aren't coming quick enough, just trying to get through this tough period because I know the reward, being with my partner and expected child, is well worth it. Daddy misses you O, and you too Mommie. Be there soon, I promise.

- Pa
(16 weeks, 5 days)

Week 16: Budgeting

I have been trying to budget for little O but am getting a bit scared.

Child Care from 8:30-3:30 at my workplace is $1098.00/month
Health Insurance for myself and O will be $513.85/month (PPO...what I have now) or $293.46/month (HMO)

Child care and Health Insurance (PPO) will eat up almost all of my salary. Maybe I should stay home?

-Mommie

Week 16: Snoogle!

Daddy went back to North Carolina this morning (he's a student at UNC Law School) which meant getting up a little after 5am to drive to the airport. I tried to not cry too much when he left but I was a mess all the way home. I miss my snookie, my baby's daddy. :)

We had a great week while he was here and Daddy bought me this!

What is this contraption you ask? Why is that pregnant woman so happy? It's a Snoogle! Or Mr. Snoggle as I call him or the Worm as Daddy calls him. I've been having issues getting comfortable when I sleep. My belly feels heavy and I have to put a pillow in between my legs and then sometimes my back feels weird. We tried the snoogle the first night and once Daddy was able to get into place it was really nice because it supports my legs and belly and head all at the same time. It still doesn't replace Daddy though. He's the best Mr. Snoggle.

My uterus has popped out like whoa in the past week. I am looking like a pregnant woman and am waddling around. Still haven't felt the baby move yet. I swear I feel it moving but then I realize it's probably something else. What else...I'm having round ligament pain. The right side of my pelvis is always kind of sore and it hurts when I walk long or move positions while I'm sleeping. I'm also burping a lot but otherwise I'm really well. The complete fatigue of the first trimester has gone away and I actually have energy to do some things I just like taking a nap sometime during the day. I also don't have much of an appetite and get full pretty quickly but I'm sure that will change soon.

My next prenatal appointment is December 4th. It's just a monthly appointment and then our five month anatomical ultrasound appointment is December 27th. I can't wait to find out if my placenta has moved up. I'm worried that it won't move up and I'll have to have a C-section.

We read two stories to you this week. Corduroy and Goodnight Little Mouse. I hope you liked them. I can't wait to read to you once you're here.

Love you O!

-Mommie
(16 weeks, 6 days)